Wearing a Mask
Most folks have known me over the 30+ years as a highly driven lobbyist. I am still in the field of public policy and communications with my own consulting business, which I love. What many don’t know is that I am also a shamanic healer. Say what?! We all create and wear different hats as a part of our ability to relate with others, to identify ourselves to others and to tell the story of ourselves as we move through life. I wear many different hats and love my eclectic life.
From a shamanic standpoint, we call these hats “masks.” Everyone puts on masks to represent themselves to the world. They change the mask or story about themselves depending on who they are with and what they are doing. Yet each mask is that person, it’s just a different aspect of that person. Just like each mask I wear is one part of who I am.
Masks are just stories of self. They are like words or labels used to create an understanding, a picture or story. The key is not to attach to any one mask because it is just one story about you, just one part of who you are as a person. You may be a business person, a volunteer, a church member, a spouse, a friend, or some other aspect of yourself. You don’t wear those hats or masks all at one time, but together they are all you. I bring all of who I am to every aspect of my life – to my public policy and communications work, my business, coaching and charitable and volunteer work. I am always my authentic self; I just don’t put every mask or identity on myself at one time for every situation.
There were times in my life where I was very attached to the identity of being a lobbyist. I allowed it to solely define me and who I am. Over the years, I found a balance through not attaching to that identity, and it has made me even better at my public policy work. For example, even before I had my own consulting business, I referred to where I worked or lobbied as my “gig” rather than a “job” because it felt lighter and released attachment to that identity.
When we are able to detach from identities, beliefs and things, we can heal and balance ourselves. This is part of my life coaching and shamanic practice. Through this process, I have healed myself in so many ways and found balance, peace and happiness. Things happen in life, yet I am able to navigate the challenges, transform and create new beauty in my life. I find the “gold lining” for myself. The deeper meaning and create beauty from it. I help my clients do the same whether they come to me for professional coaching as a business leader, life coaching or spiritual coaching.
A great book to illustrate this on the topic of attachment is from don Miguel Ruiz, Jr., The Five Levels of Attachment. It explains how we attach ourselves to beliefs, others around us and the greater world, to the detriment of ourselves and our authentic self. Overly attaching to things, people or situations, also ties into issues with having and maintaining healthy boundaries. Drawing on ancient wisdom for finding your true self, don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. explored the five levels of attachment through which we cause suffering in our own lives, which are: Fanaticism, Internalization, Identification, Self-Preference and Authentic Self.
I also recommend The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz and The Fifth Agreement by don Jose Ruiz, “be skeptical but learn to listen.” The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The Ruiz family members are shamans, practicing in the Toltec tradition. I have studied extensively with them over many years. Over the last 20+ years, I have had shamanic and metaphysical training from many organizations and teachers, including intensive studies with the Foundation for Shamanic Studies. And yes, all this while having a robust government and public affairs career too!
I find that it has helped me immensely in my business career and creating my own business, as well as in life.
P.S. Check out my blog post What is Shamanic Healing? for more.